


Couldn't Pass The Bechdel Test

by ashilrak



Series: 177(6) [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Background Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/George Washington, F/M, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7162877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashilrak/pseuds/ashilrak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angelsky: ALEXANDER PUNCHED AARON BURR</p><p>Skeggy: i’m not surprised alex punched someone bc like u have u met alex but whotf is burr</p><p>Lizzielar: r u kidding me</p><p>Skeggy: #livedfastdiedyoung</p><p>Lizzielar: have u ever paid attention in history</p><p>Skeggy: actually no bc u kno, i fuckign lived it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Couldn't Pass The Bechdel Test

**Author's Note:**

> As of this moment, this will be an ongoing thing  
> In this verse, reincarnation is a normal thing.
> 
> Elizabeth Schuyler = Elizabeth "lizzie" Skylar = Lizzie  
> Angelica Schuyler = Angel Skylar = Angel Sky  
> Margarita "Peggy" Shuyler = Margaret "Peggy" Skylar = Skeggy

**Angelsky has started chat**   
**Angelsky has named chat peach fuzz**   
**Angelsky has added lizzielar and skeggy to peach fuzz**

**Angelsky: @skegg** y you’ll never believe who we just saw

 **Skeggy:** who

 **Lizzielar:** part of me doesn’t want to tell you

 **Skeggy:** was it alexander

 **Angelsky:** how??

 **Skeggy:** who else would you care enough about to start a chat about

 **Lizzielar:** …

 **Angelsky:** …

 **Angelsky:** there were other people too

 **Skeggy:** I would hope so, goddamm u were at ur college orientation

 **Lizzielar:** don’t u want to know the deetz

 **Skeggy:** ur going to tell me no matter how I feel about the situation

 **Angelsky:** ALEXANDER PUNCHED AARON BURR

 **Skeggy:** i’m not surprised alex punched someone bc like u have u met alex but whotf is burr

 **Lizzielar:** r u kidding me

 **Skeggy:** #livedfastdiedyoung

 **Lizzielar:** have u ever paid attention in history

 **Skeggy:** actually no bc u kno, i fuckign lived it

 **Lizzielar:** but how do u not know who burr is

 **Angelsky:** he tried to flirt with me

 **Skeggy:** so did everyone

 **Skeggy:** Alexander flirted with u too

 **Lizzielar:** Alexander flirted with anything that stood still long enough

 **Angelsky:** I’m insulted

 **Skeggy:** and yet u still married him

 **Lizzielar:** MOVING ON

 **Lizzielar:** BURR IS THE MAN WHO RUINED MY life

 **Angelsky:** A-a-ron killed alex in a duel

 **Skeggy:** I thought maria reynolds ruined ur life **@lizzielar**

 **Lizzielar:** …

 **Angelsky:** that’s alex’s fault

 **Skeggy:** g e o r g e e a k e r

 **Lizzielar:** wtfthefuck

 **Lizzielar:** what have i ever done to u to deserve this pain

 **Lizzielar:** that was a low fucking blow

 **Angelsky:** ANYWAYS

 **Angelsky:** (when did u become so cold **@skeggy)**

 **Angelsky:** Alex punched burr in the face in the central quad

 **Angelsky:** and they called the actual adults bc that’s the normal thing to do in that situation

 **Angelsky:** and who the fuck comes out

 **Lizzielar:** ExcePT muthafuckin’ ass-kickin country-starting george washington

 **Skeggy:** u knew alex for like 20 years 300 years ago and yet he still effects u this way

 **Lizzielar:** i have no idea what ur talking about

 **Angelsky:** and like gwash was fully prepared to reprimand the foolish youth

 **Angelsky:** but omg his face when he saw alex

 **Lizzielar:** there were so many emotions

 **Lizzielar:** also why the fuck is washington hot

 **Angelsky:** tru, i never had the urge before, but now i wanna suck his dick

 **Lizzielar:** I’m pretty sure laf has that covered

 **Skeggy:** wat

 **Angelsky:** wat

 **Lizzielar:** did u not see them, they were devouring gwash

 **Lizzielar:** WITH THEIR EYES

 **Angelsky:** I

 **Lizzielar:** okay but like alex, aka my husband, and father of my eight children, and founder of the us treasury and national bank and new york post and the coast guard

 **Lizzielar:** that alex

 **Lizzielar:** is

 **Lizzielar:** so

 **Lizzielar:** tiny

 **Skeggy:** he was never a very large man

 **Angelsky:** but now he’s even mmORE SMOL

 **Skeggy:** how

 **Lizzielar:** idk but like washington is even bigger, and alex is shorter, so when gwash hugged alex

 **Lizzielar:** all you could see was the top of his head

 **Lizzielar:** barely

 **Angelsky:** it was so cute

 **Lizzielar:** it made my heart go all squishy

 **Skeggy:** u r literally the definition of a cinnamon roll, I don’t think there has ever been a time when ur heart was not all squishy

 **Lizzielar:** and yet u still try to hurt me

 **Skeggy:** it’s my job as youngest sibling

 **Lizzielar:** I

 **Angelsky:** okay so like we see this happening and then other adults come out bc obvi gwash is doing nothing except crying into alex’s luscious hair

 **Skeggy:** wait

 **Skeggy:** do u still have a thing for that piece of shit

 **Lizzielar:** STOP

 **Angelsky:** And all the legit adults r like “dude u need to actually do something”

 **Angelsky:** and then laf says something i think and gwash pulls the “i’m george washington” card

 **Skeggy:** did they not know?

 **Skeggy:** like i’m pretty sure most people know about ur co-worker’s past lives

 **Lizzielar:** washington has never been an oversharer

 **Skeggy:** he was trying to lead alex by example

 **Skeggy:** and he failed

 **Lizzielar:** y

 **Angelsky:** And gwash was all i get that this is a not so great situation but also do u understand who these people r

 **Skeggy:** literally no1 knows who aham and aburr are

 **Lizzielar:** that’s not true at all

 **Lizzielar:** i literally spent so much time for that to not happen

 **Lizzielar:** f i f t y

 **Lizzielar:** f u c k i n g

 **Lizzielar:** y e a r s

 **Skeggy:** they were wasted

 **Lizzielar:** NO THEY WERE NOT

 **Angelsky:** they didn’t know who alex and burr were, and alex literally started to throw a fit

 **Skeggy:** and that’s unusual how

 **Angelsky:** it’s not

 **Lizzielar:** and this is where we come into the story

 **Skeggy:** fuckign finally

 **Angelsky:** so we’ve been working our way through the crowd to get to them

 **Angelsky:** bc like we know them

 **Lizzielar:** and u kno, i was married to one of the people involved

 **Skeggy:** he literally cheated on u probs so many times

 **Lizzielar:** it wasn’t the perfect marriage

 **Angelsky:** and then we just ran at gwash and alex at full speed

 **Angelsky:** everyone was terrified for us it was gr8

 **Lizzielar:** bc like we we’re 2 tiny women attacking a very large man

 **Skeggy:** who just so happend to u know, start america

 **Angelsky:** yeah

 **Angelsky:** but MORE IMPORTANTLY

 **Angelsky:** LIZZIE KICKED BURR IN THE FUCKING FACE

 **Skeggy:** wait

 **Skeggy:** violence

 **Skeggy:** caused by lizzie

 **Angelsky:** it was beautiful

 **Angelsky:** and omg alex’s face

 **Skeggy:** why does the conversation always go back to that bastard

 **Skeggy:** we couldn’t pass the bechdel test if we tried

 **Lizzielar:** he was literally a part of the events happening

 **Lizzielar:** it’s not like we’re discussing a completely unrelated topic

 **Angelsky:** okay but we both just completely glomped alex

 **Angelsky:** and politely greeted gwash and laf

 **Lizzielar:** alex is so cute

 **Skeggy:** literally no one cares

 **Lizzielar:** u liked him once upon a time

 **Skeggy:** yeah before I saw him for the golddigging cheater that he is

 **Angelsky:** LIZZIE IS TALLER THAN aleX

 **Skeggy:** NO

 **Lizzielar:** yes, it’s adorable

 **Angelsky:** and no they’re just so cute and happy and i just

 **Skeggy:** wait

 **Skeggy:** is he there with u right now

 **Lizzielar:** he’s sleeping

 **Lizzielar:** his head is in my lap

 **Lizzielar:** he’s so cute

 **Lizzielar:** i luv him so much

 **Skeggy:** wait he’s actually sleeping

 **Angelsky:** yeah we kno it’s fucking weird i’ve never seen him sleep

 **Lizzielar:** it’s not a common occurrence do u see those eye bags

 **Lizzielar:** I AM SO CONCERNED

 **Angelsky:** But basically we’re happy for the moment, and it’s neat-o

 **Skeggy:** Who else is there?

 **Angelsky:** well, obvi laf and washington, us, burr, alex, and laf mentioned hercules and laurens

 **Angelsky:** wouldn’t be surprised if more people just appeared

 **Lizzielar:** have u heard more about burr

 **Angelsky:** no and I don’t want to

 **Lizzielar:** but alex will want to know when he wakes up

 **Angelsky:** we’ll figure it out l8r

 **Skeggy:** wait laurens is gonna be at college with u guys

 **Angelsky:** yea

 **Skeggy:** how did u find this out was he there too

 **Lizzielar:** no, but apparently him, alex, herc, and laf are all rooming together

 **Skeggy:** alex and laurens r gonna be in the same room together

 **Angelsky:** that is how roommates work yes

 **Skeggy: @lizzielar** i hope ur poly

 **Lizzielar:** ???

 **Skeggy:** have u not read the letters

 **Angelsky:** she’s read the fuckign letters

 **Lizzielar:** oh

 **Lizzielar:** i’ll deal with that later

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a fan of this verse at the moment


End file.
